When General Douglas MacArthur delivered his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951, he did so with a broken heart. He had entered the military in 1903 as a graduate of West Point Military Academy and went on to become arguably the most iconic military commander in our nation’s history. His stellar combat record and performance at every echelon of leadership set the standard for all other officers to emulate as career military professionals until his untimely relief by President Truman during the Korean War.
His famous statement that, “Old soldiers never die; they just fade away,” was adopted from an old barracks ballad and found its way into his closing statement, which came in a near apologetic manner as such,” But I still remember the refrain of one of the most popular barrack ballads of that day, which proclaimed most proudly that old soldiers never die; they just fade away. And like the old soldier of that ballad, I now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his duty as God gave him the light to see that duty.”
I contend that all veterans leave the military, although under less dramatic circumstances, with a likewise cathartic resolve. Even under the best of terms, our departures from the life we sought, accepted and endured are extremely emotional. I have attended very few Hail and Farwell or retirement ceremonies that were not awash in a sea of raw emotion, each with its own degree of Grace.
The emotional domain of resiliency is no less impactful than the others, although somewhat marginalized due to the traditionally stoic nature of military professionalism. It must therefore be addressed during our retirements as a real and present challenge in maintaining a positive and healthy disposition moving forward into life AFTER the military.
The emotional health of a separating military professional, or any person departing from a profession they enjoyed, is strongly linked to the psychological, social and spiritual health domains of resilience. In the early years of my own retirement, I discovered and established the following rules to help bolster my emotional health and to mend my broken heart. They are somewhat self-evident and easier to say than actually do, but with practice, become a state of being in your post separation dispositions as a healthy and resilient person:
Jack’s Guidelines for Emotional Health in Retirement
1. When nothing seems to be GOING right, keep DOING right and the energy of your life will greatly improve to your favor.
2. Realize that you are much, much more than the sum of the human errors you have made in your life.
3. Focus on the positive achievements of your service and the people with whom you shared those victories.
4. Surround yourself with people who contribute to a positive world view.
5. Volunteer to help those less fortunate than you.
6. Keep a journal and write daily.
7. Spend time in nature and walk daily for at least twenty minutes.
8. Take a class on anything of interest.
9. Be thankful for the blessings of your life.
10. Maintain a sense of humor and be kind to yourself.
In closing, remember that it’s okay to be sad and actually grieve the loss of our hallowed profession. The departure of our elevated purpose, the regimen of duty and, most of all, the PEOPLE with whom we served is one of the most significant emotional events of our lives. Let us then, lift up our heads and turn to General MacArthur’s parting refrain in that we as old soldiers will never die, but embrace the true Grace of our lives after the military as we fade away. We can best define Grace after our service as much more than simply slipping into absurdity and worthy of our concerted effort.
Bless you and be kind to yourselves until we meet again,
Your brother,
Jack
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